I am not my Body
Have you ever heard of diet culture? Do you know this is a culture that exists all around us?
This culture teaches us that if we can focus the shape and size of our bodies we will have more value in this world, be loved more, have greater success and be even happier. I think the majority of us have tried a diet or two in our lives and if you are reading this now you have probably discovered your “diet bottom.”
What is a diet bottom? Well have you ever gotten mad at your body for changing, whether that was your body getting bigger, or your shape changes or the weight just won't come off, even though you are restricting what you eat and you are working out regularly? Maybe we feel like we are eating a sensible deficit of calories, also known as a diet, but that can still have catastrophic effects on our bodies, and ruins a positive relationship with food and body. Perhaps we notice ourselves being preoccupied with food thoughts, the scale number playing mind games and effecting how we view ourselves. All of these frustrations are hopefully leading you to diet bottom.
My body is not going to limit my perception of who I am ❤️ I am not my body
YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR BODY
What you LOOK like does not define who you are as a human being.
And here’s the thing about looks… Changing the way you look won’t actually make you happier.
So what now? It’s time to heal.
No one actually likes or enjoys diets, lets be honest here who thinks woot woot time to restrict myself . What we truly need and crave is connection, validation, love 💕 being apart of something.
Maybe we are fixated on people compliments, and when the weight loss stops and perhaps our body starts getting bigger and all that validation and those positive compliments stop, we fear -- “Am I not good enough where is the validation and the attention, the love?” Now this is time for self acceptance.
It is all to easy to fall into the trap of believing that if only we looked different, our life would be better… Have you ever thought if only I was in a smaller body I could do this or that?
The more you find VALUE in yourself for something other than what you look like, the less important what you look like becomes.
Healing has no end date, there is no finality. We heal one thing or aspect of our lives and something else revels itself or comes up that we have to cope with. For those of us coming our of diet culture, especially if we had an eating disorder, we tend to live in boxes of all or nothing and healing will rock you because it is not all or nothing it is a forever unraveling, we are in this for the long haul, we will keep growing.
So let’s start small with just one thing. Think about one thing you do or one quality about yourself that makes you feel even the slightest bit confident or proud.
Now add a bit more of that into your day. It’s really that simple. For example, do you think you’re a good cook? Are you confident in the kitchen and enjoy making food? DO MORE of that! Because you know what happens when you lean into the things that make you feel empowered and most life yourself? Your brain dives deeper in that feeling. And that change help you build CONFIDENCE in yourself for WHO YOU ARE. It will also help to reinforce that there are far more incredible things about you than what you look like!
If you have history of dieting - you are definitely capable of doing hard things! You have the power to do what you want! For a moment, though, take a step back and ask yourself:
How have diets served you long term?
How have they impacted your life?
What have you missed out on because of diets?
How would you like to take your power and put into your honoring your true health? Like the things that matter and have value - meditation, joyful movement, nourishing food.
We need time to build trust back with our body - maybe for a while we can't even trust our own bodies as we heal because, maybe even for years potentially, we ignored our body and stayed only in our head, so be patient and practice reconnection.
This will be steps known as Processed healing . We will always be growing with IE (Intuitive Eating,) We’ll notice new and different things with food, what do we like, things will get easier and progress, there is never an end we will always grow and discover more about ourselves.
Speaking of food how can you take an interest in nourishing food without bringing up food restrictions? When eating do you disassociate from food, perhaps eating so quickly you do not have time to notice the taste or sensation of starting to feel full and not knowing when to stop? How can we discern what foods actually make us feel good, easy to digest, gives you nourishment and energy? Maybe we want it but does it makes us feel bad, hard to digest or leaves us feeling sluggish and uncomfortable? Noticing things like, “I feel bad or better when I eat this food” - is a conscience choice we make for our bodies and our health ❤️ not diet culture setting a rule for us which often leads to a rebellion of overeating that “restricted” item, leaving us basically punishing our bodies.
How can you help build a more positive view of our body image? Some powerful tools to put in your recovery toolbelt are:
Body scan meditations- mindfully scanning different areas of your body and checking in with how the feel,
Physically touching your body, maybe areas you aren’t particularity fond of, and don't avoid your body. Learn to be able to feel and connect to yourself without a mirror -- feel and hold yourself -- and see are you okay in the moment and mediate on what is your body doing for yourself right now in this moment without looking at it image
Your size doesn’t tell you what your hopes and dreams are, what you value as person on this planet is, what you bring to your relationships. Choosing to redefine your worth is a slow process so don’t expect changes to happen overnight. But the more you lean into the qualities about yourself that you are most proud of, the more confident you will become in WHO YOU ARE.
When” fatphobia” (fear of being fat) creeps in , thoughts such as “maybe people won't take me seriously or they won't love me.” Take a moment to honor that critical nature and turn to it and saying “I hear that, it's not true, but I hear you” Just because we are in bigger bodies doesn't mean we can't be loved, can't go to the beach and enjoy oursleves, do hard workouts, so please don't avoid your body. ❤️ Maybe we can try exposure therapy (touching your body or observing it in the mirror) and follow body neutral accounts on social media. We may end up fat in recovery, our bodies may grow into our fear but we can still live a full life. Are we truly defined by being a size 6 or 16? My body is not going to limit my perception of who I am ❤️ I am not my body.
We won't always have positive body image days, healing and life is a spiral it will go up and down back and forward, so expect to have good days and bad. As someone who teaches group fitness virtually, seeing myself on camera growing into a larger body then what I was comfortable with brought up a lot of difficult emotions, but healing is not linear so learning to appreciate aspects about myself that were not related to my shape and size has been really helpful.
So perhaps we can change expectations of what body positivity is: it's not lack of experiencing bad days but learning how to manage them. Be okay with the ebb and flow of living in this world with a body. As you journey into healing your reletionship with body and mind try to notice small shifts, such as, becoming more resistant to diet culture negative messages and spiraling less, or recovering quicker on hard body image days.
As we focus more on who we are and what brings us joy, what you look like becomes less important!
Because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! But your beauty doesn’t lie in looks. It lies in who you are, what you bring to this world, and how you treat and show up for others.
Your beauty is an ACTION. It’s energy. It’s your presence. It’s how you make people feel.
It’s all of the incredible things about you that make you unique. But it is NOT what you look like…
