Make Peace with Food
How often do you think about food?
If you’re like most dieters, thoughts of food occupy more than the 2-3 hours a day that experts consider healthy. You might find yourself haunted by the cookies at home, or you might be experiencing guilt and shame about the chips you ate because you “caved” after not eating them for a month.
We need to stop being at war with food!
Call a truce, stop the food fight! It is time to give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of restrictions that build into uncontrollable cravings and, ultimately, bingeing. When you finally “give in” to your forbidden foods, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it will usually result in “Last Supper” overeating and overwhelming guilt.
Studies have shown that depriving yourself of something you want can actually heighten your desire for that very item. See a study done on several men who were put on a diet and how it affected them!
Intuitive Eating Principle 3: Make Peace With Food
Get rid of the idea that there are “good” and “bad” foods;
Stop feeling guilt or shame in relation to food (also exercise) choices
Allow yourself unconditional permission to eat what you crave and when you crave it ; Unconditional is defined as “not subject to any conditions.”
Learn what food you actually like and what foods make you feel good.
Quiz! How to know what your current relationship with food is?
Do you only allow a particular serving size? For example do you weigh your food, or count your almonds before eating them?
Do you use exercise to compensate for eating certain foods? For example will you eat the dessert if you skipped the gym that day?
Do you have feelings of guilt or shame after eating?
Do you only allow foods when you are at a certain weight? Avoiding them until you reach your goal weight?
Do you have rules about when or how often you can eat foods you enjoy? Or do you only allow yourself to eat refined foods on your cheat day? “Cheat meals are just planned binges”
If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, then you are putting conditions around your eating experiences. And ultimately, this will prevent you from making peace with food and achieving the joy that comes with becoming an intuitive eater.
Let’s take a moment and discuss the different affects food restrictions can cause:
DEPRIVATION BACKLASH–REBOUND EATING-
Think eliminating something you really enjoy like chocolates. With every new diet you journey the goal is set: NO chocolate! For a few days you are doing great avoiding chocolate, but one day after work you and a bunch of co-workers go out. After dinner the inevitable question arises, “Hey! Anyone want to split the chocolate cake?” Ut-Oh! All that temptation, but you are determined this diet will work so you decline. Oh for that moment you feel so proud of yourself. Meanwhile as you are drinking your water the table sharing the cake making all kinds of yummy noises. What happens on the drive home? Thoughts of chocolate cake consume you! So you swing by the local grocery store and buy pre-packaged cake and eat the whole thing. It was not even that good but the desire for it was so strong. If you have ever been here let me reassure you it was not your will power that failed. The more we restrict foods we enjoy the more we crave them and the longer this goes on the bigger the rebound.
Last Supper Eating -
The mere perception that food might become banned can trigger overeating. Just thinking about going on a diet can create a sense of panic and send you on a trail of eating every food that you think won’t be allowed. We have all been here - Monday morning starts the diet, we know we will succeed, but we also know this means restrictions, restrictions, restrictions. So what happens all weekend? We eat everything in sight! Full or not I need to enjoy this final weekend before my favorite foods are suddenly gone! Each impending diet brings with it more fear of deprivation—with the knowledge that you won’t get “enough” or get what you want. Then comes more overeating, loss of self-control, and, finally, erosion of self-esteem. How could you possibly feel good about yourself if you truly believe that it’s possible to eliminate certain foods, only to find yourself bingeing and failing on yet another diet? Again restrictions have defeated us.
Restrained eaters-
In essence, are chronic dieters who are preoccupied with dieting and weight control. To stay in control with their food, restrained eaters set up rules that dictate how they should eat, rather than listening to their bodies. Forget honor your hunger; instead they calculate what to eat, choosing foods with their mental brakes on, and second-guessing the needs of their bodies. Their eating appears to be fine until one of their sacred rules is violated. When a rule is broken, so is their restraint—and, wham, overeating begins. Depriving yourself of something you want can actually heighten your desire for that very item.
The Seesaw Syndrome-
Guilt Versus Deprivation. The longer foods are prohibited, the more seductive they become. Consequently, eating these “illegal” foods brings with it a compelling sense of guilt for most dieters. And as the guilt increases, so does the quantity of food intake.
What is the solution? THE KEY: UNCONDITIONAL PERMISSION TO EAT!
The key to abolishing the pattern of restraint and subsequent rebound overeating is to give yourself unconditional permission to eat.
This means:
• Throwing out the preconceived notion that certain foods are “good” and others are “bad.” No one food has the power to make you healthy or not. And remember food has no moral value!
• Eating what you really want. Yes, what you want.
• Eating without obligatory penance. Thinking you will eat now and restrict later.
The Peace Process Making peace with food means allowing all foods into your eating world, so that a choice for chocolate becomes emotionally equal to a choice for fruit. It also means that your food choices do not reflect your character or morality.
Fears That Hold You Back-
Legalizing food is the critical step in changing your relationship with food. It frees you to respond to inner eating signals that have been smothered by negative thoughts and feelings of guilt about eating. When you don’t truly believe that you can eat whatever food you like, you will continue to feel deprived, ultimately overeat, and be blocked from feeling satisfied with your eating. And when you are not satisfied, you will be on the constant search for more food! When you know the food will be there and allowed, day after day, it doesn’t become so important to have it. Food loses its power, yes it loses it’s hold on you!
At first you may experience an overpowering fear that you won’t stop eating a favorite forbidden food. Just remember that when you know that previously forbidden foods will always be allowed, the urgency to have large quantities of them eventually dissipates. I have been here and I promise this happens! Even if at first you eat large quantities of a previously “bad” food, you will adapt and may even grow tired of it!
Before you proceed, please be sure that you are consistently honoring your hunger. A ravenous person is bound to engage in rebound eating, regardless of their intention. Pay attention to the foods that are appealing to you, and make a list of them. Check in with yourself to see if the food tastes as good as you imagined. If you find that you really like it, continue to give yourself permission to buy or order it.
Beware of the thinking “I Can Eat Whatever I Want, as Much as I Want, Whenever I Feel like It” This can distort the premise of Intuitive Eating. Yes, make peace with food, and eat what you enjoy. Yes, give yourself the freedom to eat unconditionally, and eat as much as you need to satisfy your body. But eating whenever you feel like it, without regard to hunger and fullness, might not be a very satisfying experience and might lead to being overly full and uncomfortable.
Changing from diet rules to food freedom will bring up fears and challenges that are natural with this process. Intellectually, the process is simple, but emotionally, it can take time and require support. So as you go on this journey be patient with yourself and compassionate too.
Starting to eat foods you’re used to restricting can be downright scary! Especially because after dieting for extended periods of time you may not be able to trust yourself around food. If you need some guidance or a helping hand work reach out for help here.
I recommend that my clients start with a food that doesn’t provoke too much anxiety, foods your enjoy but can trust yourself a little but with. And then, I recommend that they eat it in a quiet space so they can use all their senses. What exactly does this mean? This is practicing mindful eating and this is very important because it helps you take control of the food rather than the food controlling you.
One way to start to make peace with food again is to challenge the food police. This could be internal or external sources. Perhaps others may question your food choices or portions, or maybe you approach foods and all you see is a number, how many calories. I implore you to challenge these food police and allow yourself to enjoy ALL foods no questions, no judgment, no shame!
Challenging the food police will be discussed in our next blog. Also make sure to head over to our YouTube channel and subscribe as we post related content weekly and follow along workouts too!
